May I send you something?

Like – um – ten puppies who make annoying noises and a lot of mess, one strange-looking short-legged dog with huge soft poops and an ADHD personality, one eleven year old collie mix with the liquid runs, one thirteen year old dog who thinks she’s Eeyore and looks at you like you are the meanest mom on earth, and one cat with an anal gland abscess and an attitude?????

I will name you as beneficiary in my will. You will inherit my shopping cart, my garbage bags of clothes that no longer fit, some bags of dog food that the dogs won't eat and cans of cat food that the cat won't eat, and several tons of dog hair. Oh, and a bottle of Excedrin. If there's any left.