Saturday, June 14, 2008

Shame on you, Mayor James Valley!

It is ironic that two days after I wrote about the abandonment of animals, the mayor of an Arkansas community decides the way to deal with pet overpopulation is to take the pound dogs out into a national forest and “set them free”.

Free to do what, Mr. Valley? Free to die a slow death from starvation? Free to be injured by animals born to the wilds, then die a slow and painful death? Free to suffer because they have not been born to the wild and know not how to care for themselves? Free to procreate and produce more animals many of whom will die shortly after birth? Free to form packs and attack summer hikers because ‘people equals food’ but starving hard-to-handle dogs don’t worry about manners?

If you are wondering what the heck I am talking about, here and here are some links to the official news releases.

Valley’s argument that they were being housed in crowded filthy conditions is no argument at all – either clean up the conditions or, if there is absolutely no alternative, humanely euthanize the dogs. I do not condone the pandemic euthanization of animals taking place in the US and to a lesser extent in Canada, but where no other alternatives exist, a lethal injection to kill the physical being is kinder than abandonment which kills the spiritual, physical, and emotional self.

Perhaps I feel passionately about this topic because of Francis. He was the first rescue dog I really gave my heart to, the first one I was involved with from beginning to end. And he was found in a remote area of forest, likely left out there by someone who wanted to make sure he was no longer a "problem" for them.

Perhaps that passion was recently re-ignited by Baby, abandoned in a northern B.C. apartment and not found for three weeks, and by the two little cats left to their own resources when their humans moved and left them behind at a house near here.

But wherever my passion, my anger, my disgust comes from, tonight I can truly say I am sick of people who think animals are disposable, and I am sickened that public officials abandon animals and get away with it because voters prefer the words “freeing the animals” to “euthanization”.

I had intended today, the first sunny day in a couple of weeks, to take a ton of happy pictures of my animals. But the news release brought a huge black cloud across my sunlit skies and I was unable to capture the magic of my world until the work of mowing grass and whacking weeds and mucking stalls and feeding pigs and walking dogs finally soothed my soul – and now it too dark for photos.

So all I can say is, if you feel so inclined, post the links on your animal forums, your travel forums, your hiking and camping forums. Email the mayor, the newspapers, the State governor, the tourist bureau in Arkansas.

Let Arkansas know that the eyes of the world are upon it, and that we do not like what we see.

Friday, June 13, 2008

I love happy endings!

This evening, after taking Baby to her new forever home, I swung by the vacant house where Janice and I had seen the two abandoned and starving cats the other evening. There I met with Tracey of Katie's Place, a local cat rescue, and we headed down the hill with carriers and humane live trap in hand.

The larger cat, who we nicknamed Friendly, came to greet us right away and gobbled some of the food we had brought. The little black one, who we nicknamed Shy One, was no where to be seen. We waited and waited and wandered all over the property but there was no sign of him. I was afraid he had either died of starvation or been eaten by a coyote.

We decided to take Friendly with us and to set the live trap with the hopes that little Shy One would eventually show up for the yummy, smelly canned food with which we had baited it. We made plans to take turns coming to check the trap, and I headed up the driveway to my car to get some paper and a pen for a sign so realtors would know someone was taking care of it.

As I came back down the hill, Tracey indicated that the little black one was skirting the area. Perhaps Friendly's plaintive meows had drawn him to the house.
I stayed back, and watched as Shy One circled closer and closer, popping up on the porch for a bite then hurrying away again. Tracey sat down near the second cat carrier, ever patient and talking softly, and before long Shy One was eating from a bowl next to the carrier. Steadily, Tracey moved it inside the carrier to the hisses and slashes of Shy One With Courage Warning Lady to Back Off. But soon, little black cat was right inside the carrier and that door was shut too.

What a relief. The cats are off to Katie's Place where they will be well cared for and no longer at risk of starvation or predator. We never expected to get them both tonight. Thank goodness for small miracles.

I have been SNORGLED!

Snorgled…that’s the only word I can think of to describe the experience of sleeping with a red-nosed pitti’s face pushed tightly into the crook of one’s neck while she makes constant sounds that are somewhere between a snore and a gurgle. This, of course, is accompanied by copious amounts of drool, the occasional snuffle, an ear wash or two, and a few shoves and pokes with the paws into rather tender places.

Baby, a very scared little pitti spending the night with me before going to her forever home, is doing just fine. After her sound sleep and my not-so-sound one, she decided 4:30 was the perfect time to get up, chase the cat, go out for a bathroom break, have an intense and startled look at Martin the alpaca (“What the HECK is THAT??? Some kinda giant poodle? Whoooaaaaa, guy, yer mama must be putting steroids in yer feed!”) who calmly stared back without moving from his spot at the pasture gate (“Oh yeah another dog we’ve seen a few come and go. Get me my grain, would ya?”),

And so here I am, unable to get back to sleep, dog slobber on my neck and a cramped back from twisting around Sadie who also decided that if Baby was going to sleep on the bed, so was she, at least for part of the night.

But if snorgling was what Baby needed to do to feel secure, then snorgling she was going to have.

Tonight she can snorgle with someone else. Fortunately, I know that her new forever home allows dogs on beds, and has six very nice kids who are going to love a sweet pitti face shoved into their necks at night. Happy snorgling, Baby!

Baby, snorgler extraordinaire.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Tail in Two Cities

Two stories tore at my soul today - different cities, different people, same concept.

In a town up north, a couple moves out of their apartment leaving behind a very sweet, very friendly three year old pitbull, locked in the apartment without food. No one discovers her for three weeks.

On a small acreage near me, a grow-op is busted and the family moves out. The property is put up for sale. Janice and I go to look at it (Hearts on Noses Sanctuary is looking for a larger, less flood-prone home), and as we walk around the property, two nearly starved cats crawl out from under the deck of house. They too have been abandoned, and the little black one looks so emaciated it is a wonder she is still alive.

I shall never understand how people can walk away and leave their animals behind. Yet it is a story that those of us involved in rescue hear every single week.

As for the dog left in the apartment, rescue groups across the province pulled together for her. First a small rescue picked her up and delivered her to Turtle Gardens Animal Rescue in Topley BC. Bully Buddies took over from there and found her a foster home in Prince George. Today I did a homecheck for a potential adopter, the application was approved, and tomorrow a person from Herding Rescue will drive her down here, she will overnight with me, and then I will deliver her to her new home on Friday. So many people to help one sweet dog land safely in a forever home.

And the cats.....fortunately I had some donated goodies in my car that I was supposed to deliver to yet another rescue. (Sharon, I hope you don't mind but a very generous amount of the dog food was used to help fill the tummies of those starving cats - in the two bowls which were also in the donation bags). One of the cats was such a friendly little soul, but we didn't want to take him away from the much less healthy and very, very timid little black one. Instead, we opted to leave them lots of food and contact one of the cat rescues in the area to help arrange their capture. I will stop by daily to give them food (cat food!) until we know they are safe once again.

Most abandoned animals are not this fortunate. Cats turn feral, get eaten by coyotes or hit by cars in their weakened state. Dogs and cats die locked in abandoned buildings. Piggies are sent to the auction or slaughtered or given away free to the first person who comes to get them, no questions asked. And alpacas and llamas hide in the trees until eventually someone calls the SPCA or moves onto the property to once again provide with the care and feed that they need.

The callousness it must take to walk away from a sentient being who is dependent on humans is mind-boggling. May the cries of the animals forever haunt the souls of those who abandoned them.

Pigs in Boots

This afternoon, Janice of Hearts on Noses potbellied pig sanctuary sent my friend Ellen and I this link, a newstory about a pig named Cinderella who was terrified of mud and so the owners had boots made especially for her and now she is a happy little piggy:

(Photo by Ross Parry)

I chuckle over it, and go about my business which included meeting up with Janice to look at some property (more about that later), and when I came home I find THIS email........

Dear Foster Mama and Piggy Lady,

We sneeked into da big houz to see what was on da pooter. We wuz borwed today cuz it was wweeettttt an we dontz like to go slippy sliding awound in the mushy fiewd. So we thinkz that thewe might be a good moooovie on the pooter to watch. But ooohhhhh what a suwpwise we had cuz we seez evewyone is tokking about boots fow piggies. Ohhhhhhhh do we evew like thu sounds ow that. Can we pweeeeze have ouw own booties, pweeeze Foster Mama. We can cownt for you… we thinkz we need 40 medjum sizey ones fow us widdle piggies and 8 biggew ones for our Mama and Papa. Waddya think, can we haz?????????????? Pweeeze?????????? An we wont’z weaw them in da big houz, we will take them off at the doow.

Thank you Foster Mama, you da best!!!!

Luv fwom aaaallllllll you widdwe piggies.


Groan.....anyone know where I can get 48 piggy-sized Wellingtons to keep their little trotters clean????
Oh....and they tell me they would each like different colours. Lizzy wants purple. Toddy wants red. Spritzer wants green. Soda wants yellow............

Maybe their Auntie Ewwen can make them some!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Canine Play, Sheltie Style

By Belle, the Sheltie Princess




Chase your big sisters up the hill at the back of the pasture even if you are 12 years old, deaf and arthritic and they are only about 9 and 11 years old, not arthritic, and three times as big as you.

Bark at them loudly and continuously. It doesn’t matter that you are deaf and they are not. In fact, that’s good because then you won’t annoy yourself with your barking and you will annoy the hearing-abled sisters.

This will get one of them to turn around and play bow at you.

In true Princess style, acknowledge the bow with just a slight nod of the head.

Brush past them and continue up hill, ignoring any entreaties to play.

At top of hill, sit nicely next to She Who Opens Doors And Cans.

Watch haughtily as one big sister turns her attention to the other big sister.

Wait until the two big sisters are thoroughly engaged in play, and then.....
...
...
...

Run up behind them, and .....

...

...

...

BITE ONE OF THEM ON THE TAIL!


If this doesn’t get their attention, repeat.

If they still don’t notice you, do it a third time – harder!

RUN, with both sisters hot in pursuit.

Step sideways just as they catch up to you, so they tumble right over each other all the way down the hill.

Daintily, with long aristocratic nose in the air, execute your model’s runway walk back down the path.

Snicker to yourself as the two oafs give themselves a shake and brush themselves off.

Silly cows……er, collies.

Such rifraf.

Collies drool, Shelties rule.

Tee hee hee hee.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Where to begin????????

What an awesome day, full of good friends, great animals, wonderful surprises. I’m going to have to use subheadings on this entry!

Five herding dogs and four animal lovers:

Today Deb and Sharon came to visit. Both are supporters of rescue, and Deb was Belle’s fostermom before I adopted her (Belle, that is, not Deb!). Deb was also the person who told me about Sadie needing a soft place to land. Sharon, a sheltie mom, fell in love with Belle when Deb was fostering her. Good thing she lives in a condo that only allows one dog or Belle might never have made it to my place! Both came bearing gifts for the dogs, cat and piggies - such spoiled critters I have! My friend Ellen also joined us for the afternoon, bearing more treats – for the humans - yum!

Deb brought her collie Riley (hmmmm…Deb, did I spell that right, or is it Rylie????) who is soooo much like Charley. Sharon brought her 13 year old deaf sheltie Crystal. And so we had a yard full of herders – three collies (or collie crosses in the case of Sadie) and two deaf senior shelties! Great fun!

The herding fivesome

Crystal

The dogs playing 'Duck, Duck, Goose'???

Charley, Riley and Belle

Belle and Crystal

Riley

Riley, Sadie and Belle

Crystal

Scotch has an adventure:

Scotch provided us with a moment of excitement. I had put the piggies in the front half of the pasture for some grass-chomping, dirt-digging recreational activity as usual. As Deb, Sharon, Ellen and I sat laughing, enjoying the dogs and each others’ company, and sipping wine and dipping Ellen’s fresh strawberries in sour cream and then in brown sugar (if you haven’t tried that tasty treat, I highly recommend it!!!!), we suddenly heard the llamas next door sounding the alarm.

As the bears are back and signs of other wildlife have surfaced, I dashed to the pasture. Martin was not making his alarm sound, but was carefully watching something moving through the long grasses at the back half of the pasture, just below the hill.

Oh oh – I noticed the x-pen that I use as a gate where the path crosses the stream was no longer standing upright. We started counting noses – er, snouties – and I quickly realized that the owner of the biggest snoutie, Scotch, was missing. Off I went, calling him…..sure enough, there he was doing his happy dance, tail wagging, mohawk high, having a great time off on an adventure of his own!

Such a good boy – when I called his name he turned and headed over to the path, and when he heard me tell him to get home he hightailed it back down the path as fast as his little legs could carry him, until he was safely back with his herd. I can see I am going to have to watch that boy – once they find a way out, nothing short of padlocks will keep them confined!

Thank goodness the neighbour’s llamas are not used to the sight of piggies in the back pasture – hopefully they won’t become used to them any time soon.


Pigs in the pasture

Two llamas piggy sitting

And I’m moved to tears:

When Ellen had asked if she could join us this afternoon, I thought it was to meet some new friends and their dogs. Unbeknownst to me, however, she had been in contact with Deb for quite some time. Deb is an artist (her work can be seen here), and Ellen had commissioned her to do a portrait of my precious Caleb who died of cancer in February. Deb added a beautiful frame and they presented it to me this afternoon. My eyes filled with tears at the beauty of the portrait, their amazing gift, and my love for my brindle boy. Deb has captured his spirit beautifully. Words cannot express how much I cherish this gift.

Caleb portrait


Then, just to top off the night....

A few weeks ago a senior collie named Rover came into the care of Turtle Gardens, the only private animal shelter in northern BC. I fretted about him, but knew I couldn't take in another. Today I got the wonderful news that Rover has an adoption pending - with a person I first met at least a couple of years ago when I did a homecheck for another dog from Turtle Gardens. This will be the third dog Kate has adopted from them - she's obviously very satisfied with Turtle Gardens and I can't think of a better home for Rover! Way to go TG, Kate and Rover!

Rover


The dogs are flaked out, my heart is full, and my soul is at peace with the world. What a marvellous day!

Get that Bear!

By Scotch, Soda and all the little piggies

He Stoled our fwiends' peanuts!!! A Very Nice Lady bwought us some straw and greens and peanuts yesterday and then she headed to Hearts on Noses sanctuary to take some goodies to our fwiends at the Sanctuawy.

On the way, she stopped her twuck and got out to check the map. She lefted her twuck door open and a BEAR climbed right in an took off wiv the peanuts, leavin' only his muddy footpwints behind!

That was NOT nice of him! He is depwiving poor hungry piggies when he’s got lotsa bewwies an fishes an other things to eat.

If you meets a bear wiv peanut-breaf, you tell hims that if our Foster Mama wasn’t anti-violence she would beat him up.

Give our fwiends back their peanuts, Bear.

Scotch, Soda, Lizzie, Toddy, Spritzer, Swizzle, Fizz, RobRoy, Whisper, Derby, Tom, an' Rickey

Saturday, June 7, 2008

An alpaca gets the zoomies



Most dog owners are familiar with those sudden bursts of energy where their dog suddenly tears around the house or the yard with great exuberance. But an alpaca with the zoomies?????

Tonight, just as I was closing up the barn, Martin the alpaca came wandering up to his pen looking, rather belatedly, for his evening meal. I took him his grain and closed him in the pen while I took the dogs for one last romp in the pasture.

When we returned it was nearly dark. I put the dogs in the house, and turned to see Martin about to charge his pen gate – two , three, four times.
Okay, I said to myself, he is making it clear that he wants to sleep out in the pasture as he did for the many years he was abandoned. That’s fine with me – in winter I made him stay in the pen overnight so I could be sure to get feed and water to him in the morning and he had no objection when the pasture was bare of everything but snow. With lush green grass beckoning, however, he has different ideas and as a camper myself I understand the lure of sleeping out under the stars.

Except that wasn’t what Martin was telling me. As soon as I opened the gate to his pen, he stormed out and tromped into the back yard. "Fair enough," I tell him, "You want to munch the weeds here – you haven't had a chance to do that for a few days."

But that wasn’t it either. He ran through the back yard and right up to the back door of the house, wheeled around, RACED back through the pasture gate and all the way down the pasture, wheeled around, RACED back up the pasture and into the back yard, did a wheelie that would make a 16 year old on testosterone and a Harley envious (leaving nice skid marks in my grass), RACED back down the pasture, and repeated the act all over again before finally sauntering, even swaggering, up the rise to settle in his favourite “I’m camping out over night” spot on the hillside.

There is nothing quite so comical as an alpaca running at full speed. They don’t really run, they.....um......bounce. Hop hop hop hop hop like a giant Easter Bunny, kicking up wedges of dirt as they go. Tigger incarnate. BOING!

I still don’t know what set him to the frenzy of activity – whether he sensed danger (though he did not make his distinctive cry of alarm), or was spooked by the motion light coming on near the barn, or has poor night vision and didn’t realize it was me standing there. Or maybe he just had the zoomies. But I bet he sleeps well after all that exercise. What a silly alpaca.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Such a production!

Off to the groomers

Preparing to take my three dogs to the groomers this morning was reminiscent of those single parenting days when a quick trip to the grocery store in the middle of an Albertan winter meant lugging out the diaper bag, the bottle, the car seat, the stroller, putting baby in umpteen layers of clothes, finding the mittens, the hat, spare blankets in case we slid off the road, and so on.

Steps for taking the dogs to the groomers:
• Clean out car to remove left over treats, fast food bags and important mail that nosy dogs may chew up, fight over, or simply shred.
• Vacuum car with shop vac to get rid of the remains of two bales of straw which will otherwise become trapped in their fluffy clean fur and miraculously release itself all over the house.
• Adjust seats since crippled seniors can’t jump into the high back of a Pathfinder, nor clamber onto back seat unless front seat is in the most forward position.
• Put down half the back seat so one of the dogs can move through to the cargo space since Charley will NOT share a space with anyone.
• Fasten blankets and mats on leather seats so dogs won’t slide off every time I brake, seat belts or not.
• Hum and haw about barriers and dog seat belts – remember I loaned dog seatbelt to daughter, and can’t use barrier as dogs can’t jump up into cargo space. Decide to use ordinary harness and leash snapped onto regular seatbelt for Belle who sits in the front, and snap leashes to seatbelts for Charley and Sadie in back. Dig out regular seat belts from under the back seat which is now folded down on top of them.
• Find flat collar with tags for each dog just in case some idiot creams my car and in the ensuing chaos the dogs bolt. (My dogs don’t wear collars at home due to the dangers of strangulation should they catch on one another while playing).
• Find martingales and leashes in the right size for each – Charley has mastered the art of slipping the flat collar. The martingale will prevent a sudden dash for freedom at the instant Charley realizes where she is and backs up saying “Oh my doG, it’s THAT place where they stick us in the bathtub, pour water on our heads, shave our bellies, and do other horrible things to us!!!!Run for your life!!!”
• Find treats for rewards, paper towels in case of sickness, and doggy bags for the inevitable moving of the bowels at the most embarrassing, inconvenient moment.
• Move Sadie, who has climbed into the front seat, into the back. Lift the singing sheltie, who is hopping about in a frenzy, into the front. Run back to house to drag reluctant Charley (who hates car rides) back out for the umpteenth time and coax her into the back where she GLARES at Sadie who has not moved far enough around into the cargo area and dares to leave the tip of her tail on Charley’s seat.
• Sigh...off we go.

"I am ignoring you. I am NOT sharing this seat with you."

"Hey, where ya goin'??? Can we come toooooooo???"


So I drop off the dogs at Markeyda’s Grooming and head to the stores. Spend as much in an awesome gourmet food place as I will spend on grooming three dogs. Stop at bakery, bank and thrift store. Pick up dogs.

Part way home, realize there are rustling noises coming from the cargo area. Glance in rear view mirror.....whip head around.....whip head back just in time to move car back into correct lane and slam on brakes to avoid hitting car at light. Breathe deeply and growl at Sadie in my most threatening voice “You better NOT be eating that nice fresh bread. I just bought. You better not. You better not!!”

In the silence that followed, I swear I heard Sadie quietly singing the following tune (which only those readers over 50 will likely remember ….):

All together now, one, two, three
Keep your mind on your drivin’
Keep your hands on the wheel
Keep your snoopy eyes on the road ahead
We’re havin’ fun, sittin’ in the back seat
Sniffin’ and a squishin’ the bread,
Da da da daa dum
Every dog sure loves fresh bread
Da da da daa dum
Wish that I could eat this bread! WOOF!

(Apologies to Paul Evans)

Sadie, post groom


"And then the groomer did WHAT?????"

Charley, post groom

Princess Belle: "I'm beautiful AND good!"

Charley: "Such an exhausting day! Good night!"

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Parade of animals

These aren't the greatest pictures, but in the last 24 hours I have been visited by three deer, a bear, and some unknown canine or very large feline (lynx or cougar?).

First the deer - seen last evening in the field across the street. Beautiful animals - two does and a stag - they look like they are in great shape and they enjoyed their grazing on the spring foliage for a long, long time. Of course, every time I tried to get close enough for a good picture, they wandered off. Here's the best I could get (get out the magnifying glass - there are two deer in this picture).




Then this afternoon as I took my dogs for their usual pasture run, I discovered a fairly large pile of unknown excrement right smack on top of Martin's pathway bathroom spot (but definately not HIS poop!) - and definitely not my dogs as we had cleaned up the path on our way back from our morning walk. I've noticed strange poops in the pasture the last several days but assumed I must have missed some that my dogs passed - this time I know that was not the case. And it was uncomfortably close to the barn and backyard. There was a fairly wide trail through the grasses (which are now almost shoulder height), leading to the creek and out through the fence. Last year about this time we were visited by lynx and the year before by cougar. Strangely, there was no fur in it, but it was the pale grey of a raw meat and bones eater. (I do hope no one is eating breakfast as they read this blog......Heheheheh!). Clearly, this bears much closer watching.

And speaking of bears, this evening the llamas next door sounded the alarm to say something scary was in the vicinity. They don't consider coyotes and dogs scary, or even deer, so I headed out to see what had them upset. And there, right across the road, was a young black bear. It was quite small - probably either a fall-birthed female or an early spring-birthed male. Needless to say, I didn't try to get too close, especially since mom was no doubt close by (young bears stay with their moms for two years). This is the best I could do for a picture - look hard at the black dot in the centre - that's Teddy.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Epic's Journey


Epic, ready for travel

Well, my sister didn't get out of here without being initiated into the world of animal rescue.....I talked her into helping with the transport of a Bully Buddies dog, Epic, who needed a ride from the Lower Mainland to the Okanagan. Okay, I confess it didn't take much persuasion - as soon as I asked her, she said "Sure!"

So this morning, collaboration among animal lovers operated as it should - one person brought Epic from the kennel where she was being housed to a nearby community, where I picked her up and brought her home. I gave her some excerise and time to potty, and then she hopped into my sister's car for the long ride to Westbank, where the person from her final destination will pick her up and take her home.

Epic is a sweetheart who gave me a great big wet doggy facewash when I bent over to say goodbye to her - there is nothing that can make me laugh as much as a doggy face wash!

Safe journey, Epic. May you find your forever home and become the free-spirited dog you were always meant to be.

Thanks Jan, Carole and Steve for making this possible.

A Walk in the Park



Yesterday, my sister and I took my elderly mom for a drive and found ourselves at Campbell Valley Regional Park, at the south entrance rather than the north side I have used in the past. There we discovered a visitor information house with some lovely and informative displays about the animals and flowers in the area, and a beautiful "wildlife" garden which included a lovely butterfly garden, ponds, and masses of flowers. It was a wonderful place to spend an hour or two, and very handicapped accessible with well groomed smooth but natural material trails which accomodated mom's walker just fine.










Critters of Habit

As nice as it is to have my sister visit and as much as the animals enjoy being spoiled by her, my critters really do not like their schedules and routines disturbed.

Charley spent the entire three days and nights pouting because Auntie C gets to sleep on the couch which is HER (Charley's) territory. She sulked and sulked and sulked and then, with a body language that clearly implied a long-suffering attitude, she plonked herself on the hard floor and went to sleep. None of five alternatives in the form of appropriately-sized dogbeds or crates were, in her opinion, suitable - even though she customarily is quite happy to hang out in a crate or in the Petmate raised bed she has had since birth.

No, only the couch would do. And the minute my sister was out of the driveway this morning, here's where Charley was (and has been ever since!):



She didn't even give me time to put the slipcover back on it! Silly dog!

Friday, May 30, 2008

Why dogs and houseguests don't mix

My sister is coming to stay for a few days, so my plan for today was to clean house in the morning and cut the grass in the afternoon.

Since I don’t have a spare room, sis sleeps on the couch. Yes, that couch. The one the dogs sleep on. The only one I have. In the living room. Yes, the living room the dogs sleep in. Yes, I know everything in there is covered in dog fur – I’ve been too busy outside lately to clean properly.

She’s my sister, for heaven’s sake! She can live with a few dog hairs. After all, she’s family. Just like my dogs are family. Get used to it.

But.....guilt, guilt, guilt.....I decided I really should give the living room a little more than a lick and a promise. It’s a small room – should only take an hour for a thorough cleaning. How much dog hair can three dogs produce?

I decided to rearrange furniture - there's nothing like rearranging furniture to make a room really feel clean. And nothing like rearranging furniture to uncover the spiders, dead flies, dust moose and dirty socks that have been cowering under and behind furniture since the last time it was rearranged.

Of course, once I'd pulled the couch out I realized how dirty the rug was. No problem. I have a nice new carpet cleaner – I’ll just give it a quick shampoo. Oh, but first I have to vacuum the dog hair up so it doesn't clog the shampooer.

Hmmmm……how to do this. I know! I’ll move all the furniture to one side, vacuum, shampoo, move it all to other side...

I start. Looks good. Move furniture to other side. Vacuum second half……Whooops – is that moisture I see heading into my very expensive Dyson Animal Vac? I must have run over a freshly shampooed part of the rug that didn’t have all the water sucked out of it. Oh poop.

No problem....I’ll just quickly take the vacuum apart, dry it out, and continue.
Pull out manual to find out how to clean it...., take out rollers, dry out hoses, .....hmmmmm, still moisture in there. I can fix this....take out screwdriver and remove faceplate on bottom of vacuum. Oooooops - who knew all those little plastic bits were going to come tumbling out?? Reconstruct vacuum ***whew*** actually got it back together and there’s no extra pieces sitting on the table.

Back to the manual. Next step: clean filter. Okay....open this, take out that, rinse under tap. Last step: “Let filter dry for at least 12 hours”.

TWELVE HOURS????????

But my sister will be here in nine!!! And I need to vacuum!!!! Why didn’t they say that first?????: Would it be so difficult to print “CAUTION: YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT TWELVE HOURS AFTER DOING THIS STEP”???

Sigh…..
Hang filters outside to dry. Lug in Shop Vac from garage....vacuum....shampoo....rearrange furniture....no room for dog beds (you know, the ones that only Belle sleeps in since Charley sleeps on the couch and Sadie prefers the rug).....rearrange furniture.....still no room for dog beds......rearrange furniture.....contemplate getting rid of dog beds .....rearrange furniture....contemplate getting rid of dogs.....return furniture to original location.

Total time to clean living room: 5 hours 45 minutes.

Sis, I hope you know what I went through for you.

Oh shoot, I forgot to open up the hide-a-bed to check for dog hairs which, upon hearing the vaccum, had beat a hasty retreat down the back of the couch and embedded themselves in the mattress.

So much for the rest of the housework or the lawn. I just hope the dogs will distract her sufficiently that she won't notice the mess. Maybe I'll just smear a little liverpaste on her suitcase as she walks through the door.