Tales of a Tortie

Tortoiseshell cats have the reputation of being smart, entertaining, cunning, and just a little bit evil. The story that follows really deserves to be presented in video, but as I don't have a camera with video capabilities at the moment, you'll have to use your imagination and my words to envision the action. Cue music....

It was Tuesday, the first day of December, and I was in my office boxing up some gifts to mail to my daughter in California. Mitzi was having a lazy evening, just watching me from her comfy cushion on the floor.

Whatcha doin' Mama Jean?

Soon she lost interest and lay down her head for a long winter's nap, no doubt with visions of liver treats dancing in her head.

A large piece of newsprint floated off my workspace and onto the carpet below, but I didn't pick it up as I didn't need it right then. Allie, however, did have a use for it.  She invented a game called "Let's terrorize the dog!"

Allie likes to hide under things - under a blanket, under a chair, under a piece of newsprint.  And so, of course, she was under that piece of newsprint faster than you can say "Temptations!"

Ooooh.....this is coooool! 

I ignored her for the most part, just occasionally poking the paper for the fun of hearing her outraged
M E O W!!!!

Would you quit doin' that?

I got back to work and put the cat out of my mind until I heard a strange rustling sound - and watched as a slightly rounded piece of newsprint slowly and stealthily made its way across the room right towards where Mitzi was sleeping.

The attack of the triffids  newsprint

I didn't capture in photos what happened next because I had put my camera down while my hands were busy with sticky packing tape and scissors.  But what I saw was a piece of newsprint slowly nudging closer and closer to Mitzi's now slightly awake face - and Mitzi's eyes growing wider and wider as she edged back on the cushion attempting to escape the attack of the Large White Newsprint.  As the corner of the paper touched - TOUCHED! - her fur, and just milliseconds before a feline paw came out to thwack her, Mitzi took off like a bat out of hell!  [Like a bat out of hell?  Where the heck did that cliche come from?  Do bats streak out of hell?  Why bats and not some other creature?  Wouldn't most creatures try to flee hell?  But I digress....]

Heheheheheh!
Cats rule, dogs drool!

I put the tape down, grabbed the camera once again, but Mitzi did not return - no doubt traumatized by her near-death experience.  Allie amused herself tearing the paper to shreds....

Take that!

I finished packing the box, and sat at the computer to check my email, when Allie let it be known that with the dog gone, she was bored and wanted attention:

Hey! You up there!

I want some attention!

I ignored her, and moments later (upon hearing the rustling of paper once again) looked over towards the door to see this:

Allie heading out the office door underneath a scrap of paper
-- no doubt heading to the bedroom to terrorize a
certain dog once again. 

I quickly put a stop to that by ushering her into the living room and dropping a couple of cardboard boxes in her path - which immediately became her next source of amusement:

You can't see me!

Are you gonna package me up and send me
to California too?

Mitzi remained blissfully ignorant of the attempted second Ambush by Newsprint, and for the rest of the week Allie has entertained herself (and me) with shredded newsprint and old cardboard boxes. 

Thank Gawd!
Small things amuse small  feline minds!
Let me sleep in peace!