Rootin', Tootin', Poopin' Piggies!

I cannot believe how much work 12 piggies can be some days! Now that the ground is soft, they are rootin’ up a storm, and with each rooting frenzy they uncover more non-biodegradable garbage that some previous tenant on the property had buried instead of taking to the dump or recycling as he should. So there I am, picking up bits of plastic and rope and coils of wire and the occasional old bottle or tin can, trying to keep one step ahead of the piggies. Every time I think “that’s the last of it” they root a little deeper or use their snouties to shove another stump out the way and uncover more.

And then there’s the tootin’ – the verbal squealing that sounds like those noisemakers we had at parties when we were kids, the kind that unfurl and whistle as you blow into them and then wind back up when you stop. It makes me laugh, these tootin’ piggies, but they can sure be noisy! Which, of course, gets the dogs going – not just my dogs but the neighbours’ dogs too…..and probably dogs three or four blocks away, given the racket the piggies make. The piggies seem to think that, as their personal slave, I should be out there feeding them rather than cleaning up their yard, and they let the world know it.

And lastly, there’s the poopin’ – do you KNOW how much poop 12 piggies make each and every day???????? I’m convinced someone is bringing in a couple of extra herds during the night and letting them …um….evacuate their “piggy pearls” in my pig yard. (Of course, I’m also convinced someone is bringing in a dozen dogs to my front yard at night, because I’m sure my dogs can’t be producing all the poop I clean up from them either! And the alpaca – who the heck is sneaking in a herd of alpacas to the pasture to produce all the heaps of ‘paca pellets??? )

So I’m out there scoopin' the poopin’ and generally cleaning up the piggy yard, with the ..ahem…”assistance” of all the piglets. Rickey is convinced, absolutely convinced, that the large white pail I scoop the poop into contains FOOOOOD….and consequently knocks it over, spilling the piggy pearls, every time I turn my back for another scoopful. The others seem to think this is hilarious and rush forward to check the bucket then race backwards when they see me giving them all the evil eye. Rickey isn’t fazed – he does it over and over and over again.

I finally get all the poops collected, rake up much of the debris and pick up all the garbage. I spread fresh shavings in the "poop corner" (not that the piglets are paying much attention to THAT at the moment!), I gather up my tools and my pails and my jacket that I hung on the fencepost and head back to the gate. And as I turn around to survey the nice clean pig yard, what do I see? Twelve little piggy bums producing more poops.... not one of them on the shavings. Aaargghhhhh!